Broken Promises or Lies?

Broken Promises or Lies?

Were they promises?
Or were they lies?
We love you, but
Only when there are sunshiny skies.
 
“The best for him…”
Was what was said
Denying him my milk
Would break our bond in their heads
 
You are family,
He binds us together
Now, and forever and ever.
But only when we are far from you
Will this family ever make it.
 
A big sister so excited
Then lost her sibling in an instant
When she heard the news
That someone else, was invited.
 
She wondered if she would be given away as well
Not today child, no way in hell.
 
Take our gifts, that show our love
Just let us take him
Far from your grips
We don’t want a bond to form
Not one little bit.
 
Then a countdown with a grieving 8 year old begins
Months and weeks
Then only days are left
Then they crushed his sister’s heart yet again
With one little text.
 
We are sorry
We can’t make it
And we didn’t know
Not even a week ago
We couldn’t call
Because we know this is a really low blow
 
The 1st birthday came
To celebrate his life
No you can’t attend
You’re not going to be in his life
 
You gave him life
But that is it
He has your blood
But we are so desperate
 
Their love is a game
Played only on their terms
No matter the pain
All that matters is their words.
 
The truth is too real
The only way we have him
Is by some terrible mistake
This is not getting better
 
The broken trust is a token
Nothing else is there to lose
Our silence is broken
Their desperation makes them choose
 
When our grief is too strong
And the time and space
Just don’t break the bond
That God put into place
Comes that last broken promise
Really ‘in your face’
 
They use the service they paid
To deliver the final blow
You won’t be seeing your child
Not as long as we’ll say so.
 
Were they promises
Or were they lies
It doesn’t matter now
They’ve left our hearts to die.
 
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About wsbirthmom

I am a single mom to my elementary aged daughter, and as of 2011 a mother to a son who I lost to adoption. No matter how trapped, hopeless, frustrated and overwhelmed I felt before placing my son, all those feelings combined are no comparison to the grief and the loss of him we have felt post-placement. And no one, and nothing could have prepared me for it. I have been forever changed. The old me is gone, and so is the old life - something no one ever mentioned would happen. This will affect many generations to come, something else that was never mentioned. So many things that could have been disclosed to me that would have allowed me to make a 'fully informed' decision, were kept from me. The things I've learned about the billion dollar adoption industry since losing my son, have opened my eyes to the ever so clever tactics used by many adoption agencies and attorneys, which I have experienced first hand and didn't even know it was happening, until it was too late. If you need a password for a protected post, please email me at wsbirthmom at g mail dot com. I've been personally cyber stalked and attacked by women who have adopted who I have never met, in an attempt to ruin my children's chance of knowing each other. Let's just say, it's been quite a 'ride' - but the ride has come to an end. I will keep telling mine and other natural mother's truths of adoption until the laws are changed and made 'fair' to natural families or until the day I take my last breath here on this earth.
This entry was posted in Adoption Wounds, Grief, Open Adoption, Open Adoption Closed and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Broken Promises or Lies?

  1. Heather says:

    Such powerful words. I can feel your pain. It is very similar to mine.

  2. Claudia B. says:

    Haunting in its beauty. Grief is such a muse…

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