No one would choose this…..

You will carry your grief forever within you, and so will your separated child. However, your child will not be able to openly grieve….because the people who are raising your child will not see the loss of your child. The focus is on how it affects them, and your child will be forced to grieve internally, which causes health issues as will you, we harbor traumatic grief within our minds, bodies and souls. Read this:

Adoptive parent and clinical psychologist Nancy Newton Verrier described this trauma in her 1993 book The Primal Wound: “…for the child abandonment is a kind of death, not only of the mother, but of part of the Self, that core-being or essence of oneself which makes one feel whole.”
In her 1979 book Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience, adoptee, psychologist, and activist Betty Jean Lifton describes it this way: “It is difficult to be a survivor of any kind, but most difficult when you are kept in general ignorance of what it is you have survived. For, since most adoptive parents are unable to see the child’s loss of the birth parents as a psychic trauma, but rather as a felicitous event that has enriched their own lives, it is hard for the Adoptee to deal with his survivor role.”

http://gazillionvoices.com/the-many-faces-of-grief/#.UqMOCqq9Kc0

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About wsbirthmom

I am a single mom to my elementary aged daughter, and as of 2011 a mother to a son who I lost to adoption. No matter how trapped, hopeless, frustrated and overwhelmed I felt before placing my son, all those feelings combined are no comparison to the grief and the loss of him we have felt post-placement. And no one, and nothing could have prepared me for it. I have been forever changed. The old me is gone, and so is the old life - something no one ever mentioned would happen. This will affect many generations to come, something else that was never mentioned. So many things that could have been disclosed to me that would have allowed me to make a 'fully informed' decision, were kept from me. The things I've learned about the billion dollar adoption industry since losing my son, have opened my eyes to the ever so clever tactics used by many adoption agencies and attorneys, which I have experienced first hand and didn't even know it was happening, until it was too late. If you need a password for a protected post, please email me at wsbirthmom at g mail dot com. I've been personally cyber stalked and attacked by women who have adopted who I have never met, in an attempt to ruin my children's chance of knowing each other. Let's just say, it's been quite a 'ride' - but the ride has come to an end. I will keep telling mine and other natural mother's truths of adoption until the laws are changed and made 'fair' to natural families or until the day I take my last breath here on this earth.
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2 Responses to No one would choose this…..

  1. brooke says:

    could you email me, i am having alot of trouble with a decision i made to give up my daughter, the guilt is hurting me so much, and everyone tries to justify it by saying shes happy, they can afford her and mentally support her, i also have another daughter in grade2, i let my daughter go when my dad passed away couple years ago and i regret it so much, but she has her life with her other grandparents i dont know what to do…. i want her home shes only 4..

  2. Rachel says:

    Wow, I cried while reading this. (((Hugs)))

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