The “birthmother” is not moving on…

My thoughts are in the comments…

The adopted ones blog


I am acknowledging I have no direct experience in what I am saying below. My experience is different, but I do believe there are parallels between the two experiences.

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About Wsbirthmom

I was a single mom to my elementary aged daughter and in 2011 I became a mother of unnecessary infant adoption loss. No matter how trapped, hopeless, frustrated and overwhelmed I felt before placing my son, all those feelings combined are no comparison to the grief and the loss of him we have felt post-placement. And no one, and nothing could have prepared me for it. I have been forever changed. The old me is gone, dead really, and so is the old life - something no one ever mentioned would happen. This will affect many generations to come, this and so many more adoption truths were never mentioned to me. So many things that could have been disclosed to me that would have allowed me to make a 'fully informed' decision, were kept from me by the agency - Gladney. The things I've learned about the billion dollar adoption industry since losing my son, have opened my eyes to the ever so clever persuasive coercive tactics used by many adoption agencies and attorneys, which I have experienced first hand and didn't even know it was happening, until it was too late. If you need a password for a protected post, please email me at wsbirthmom at g mail dot com. I've been personally cyber stalked and attacked by women who have adopted who I have never met, in an attempt to ruin my children's chance of knowing each other, and they've succeeded along with many other factors. Let's just say, it's been quite a 'ride' - but the ride has taken a hard left turn. I will keep telling my and other natural mothers & sharing adult adoptee's truths of their adoption experiences until the laws are changed and made 'fair' to natural families or until the day I take my last breath here on this earth. I started reaching out to pregnant mothers in crisis who were looking for adoption information. I began helping mothers see that their situations are so temporary and adoption, is a permanent solution - and usually always unnecessary. I've started a grass roots organization called Saving Our Sisters. It is comprised of adopted persons, mothers of adoption loss and even adoptive parents who believe that family preservation should always be the first focus, and that separation by adoption should always be a last last resort. We are PRO #familypreservation, PRO mother and child. If you would like to find us on Facebook, here is the address:
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One Response to The “birthmother” is not moving on…

  1. Kim Cakes says:

    Here is a link to an expert in Adoption Loss, Dr Geoffrey Rickarby, having dealt with mother and adoptee loss to adoption for over 30 years. The grief and pain and disempowerment and damage is not unknown, it is just kept from the knowledge of the general public, so that adoption can continue. This paper is specific to the treatment of Australian women, but, while the process and treatment in your case might be a little different, the injury is the variations of the same. Extreme and pathological grief, depression, dissassociation, disempowerment, despair, anger, PTSD, inability to bond with subsequent children, etc. Professionally, lawfully, and in the capacity of an owed duty of care, you should have been warned of the risks to yourself and your baby of relinquishment to adoption. That a practice can continue where it fails to meet a duty of responsibility to its clients (mother and child) , due to its desiring an outcome to service a third party (the adopters) in this day and age of supposed equitable treatment, is astonishing.

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