Open Adoption and Playing God

velvet bocephus

Another birthday has come and gone.

Each year, it feels like that baby, MY baby, becomes more of a stranger. I dreamed of her my entire childhood. I carried her for 41 weeks, labored with her for 36 hours, and held her tightly against my chest in our remaining 32 hours together.

What does “Open” Adoption feel like for a mother, or more frequently what we’re referred to, a birth mother? I would gladly shed some light on the matter, but only as a warning to others.

Its an important question to answer in this day and time. Especially for anyone who feels the need to present it as an option, yet has no firsthand experience. The promotion of Open Adoption frightens me. It is a subculture fraught with corruption, deceit, trauma, and delusions of mass proportion.

Of course, with 2 decades of experience, its impossible to chronicle all of the psychological…

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About wsbirthmom

I was a single mom to my elementary aged daughter and in 2011 I became a mother of unnecessary adoption loss. No matter how trapped, hopeless, frustrated and overwhelmed I felt before placing my son, all those feelings combined are no comparison to the grief and the loss of him we have felt post-placement. And no one, and nothing could have prepared me for it. I have been forever changed. The old me is gone, dead really, and so is the old life - something no one ever mentioned would happen. This will affect many generations to come, something else that was never mentioned. So many things that could have been disclosed to me that would have allowed me to make a 'fully informed' decision, were kept from me by the agency - Gladney. The things I've learned about the billion dollar adoption industry since losing my son, have opened my eyes to the ever so clever coercive persuasive tactics used by many adoption agencies and attorneys, which I have experienced first hand and didn't even know it was happening, until it was too late. If you need a password for a protected post, please email me at wsbirthmom at g mail dot com. I've been personally cyber stalked and attacked by women who have adopted who I have never met, in an attempt to ruin my children's chance of knowing each other. Let's just say, it's been quite a 'ride' - but the ride has taken a hard left turn. I will keep telling my and other natural mothers and adult adoptee's truths of their adoption experiences until the laws are changed and made 'fair' to natural families or until the day I take my last breath here on this earth. I started reaching out to pregnant mothers in crisis who were looking for adoption information. I began helping mothers see that their situations are so temporary and adoption, is a permanent solution - and usually always unnecessary. I've started a grass roots organization called Saving Our Sisters. It is comprised of adopted persons, mothers of adoption loss and even adoptive parents who believe that family preservation should always be the first focus, and separation by adoption should always be a last last resort. We are PRO #familypreservation, PRO mother and child. If you would like to find us on Facebook, here is the address: https://www.facebook.com/adoptionSOS/
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