Many things have been happening over the last couple years.
We purchased a brand new home, we got married (yes H2 and I are still together), and we had W’s sibling. A little girl.
The help I’ve been giving to pregnant moms in crisis has really gained an incredible amount of support from adult adoptees, mothers of adoption loss as well as ‘some’ adoptive parents.
I, along with the help of some very motivated people, have worked to become a part of a 40 year old non-profit organization called Concerned United Birthparents, and with their help came up with the name Saving Our Sisters. The name references the saving that we wish someone would’ve done for us, and our sisters in crisis pregnancies.
We have all come together to document the situations, spread the word when a mom is in need, and put themselves out there by meeting/mentoring the moms both before and after their children arrive and in some cases provide the moms with references to attorneys when necessary, provide a few bucks to pay a bill while they are on maternity leave and of course baby supplies that they didn’t think they needed, because they had resigned themselves to giving up on themselves, and their child.
It’s been an incredible couple of years. Bittersweet actually. Healing to grow this SOS family with so many mothers and their children who have stayed in touch over the years even after they have overcome their temporary situations and the crisis has passed. Heartbreaking because none of this will bring back my son (or allow us a relationship with him), and I have no idea if it will make any difference to him about all this that I am doing in his name.
The next step is finally getting proof of what so many of us mothers of adoption loss experienced. Of what we were and are still today (no matter how many years after losing our children) told what never happens, that there are laws to stop any kind of coercion from taking place when a mother is in crisis and looking at her ‘options’. That our stories are not ‘believable’.
Well, it finally has happened. The 1st indisputable proof of adoption coercion. The videos are so triggering. I had to get up and walk away from my computer after listening to the 1st one. It’s a story of a mother who was coerced by her boyfriend and his mother into the adoption, who had an unnecessary scheduled c-section for her 1st experience of giving birth, the natural delivery of her child taken from her because it was convenient for the PAPs who were flying across the country to purchase her baby. The 1st video was an agonizing 23 minutes of this mother begging for her child back, begging for copies of the papers she signed, and being told she never received a very important one (waiving her revocation period) and telling the ‘adoption social worker’ that she never got to hold her daughter like she wanted while she broke out in sobs. That she never wanted the prospective adoptive parents at the hospital and then being dismissed because that not what the ‘adoption social worker’ heard her say.
The natural progression of things……..and we will keep on documenting and proving that adoption has not changed….the industry has just perfected it’s ‘craft’ of separating mothers and their infants with incredibly cold and heartless and unethical tactics.
This saved family and baby have quite a story to tell…….and the experiences I have just keep on proving to me just how corrupt the adoption industry is.
I say this over and over and over……I just can’t make this stuff up.