Open Adoption and Playing God

velvet bocephus

Another birthday has come and gone.

Each year, it feels like that baby, MY baby, becomes more of a stranger. I dreamed of her my entire childhood. I carried her for 41 weeks, labored with her for 36 hours, and held her tightly against my chest in our remaining 32 hours together.

What does “Open” Adoption feel like for a mother, or more frequently what we’re referred to, a birth mother? I would gladly shed some light on the matter, but only as a warning to others.

Its an important question to answer in this day and time. Especially for anyone who feels the need to present it as an option, yet has no firsthand experience. The promotion of Open Adoption frightens me. It is a subculture fraught with corruption, deceit, trauma, and delusions of mass proportion.

Of course, with 2 decades of experience, its impossible to chronicle all of the psychological…

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Dear Adoption, You Aren’t Always Right

W, I may not have fought for you in court, but I have been fighting since you were denied my milk for a reason I still, nearly 6 years later cannot comprehend as hard as I try.  I am fighting in other ways. Keeping what happened to us from happening to others via Saving Our Sisters.  All the time, effort and energy in everything I do is all for you and your sisters. All I ever wanted for you was the best, and I know now as I have very shortly after I listened to the wrong people who deceived me, that being given to strangers is not what you needed.  You needed me, and I am so so sorry I didn’t believe in me.

We love and miss you every single day.

Love, Mom


Dear Adoption, You Aren’t Always Right

Growing up, my adoption issues lived mostly in the confines of my own head. I was adopted domestically so most people had no clue my parents, siblings and I didn’t have the same genes. I went to live with my new family when I was less than 2 weeks old. I was born to one woman and left the hospital with a different woman. I always thought that seemed weird since the first woman wasn’t dead.

My mom said I cried a lot when I first came home and that I wouldn’t settle with her when she held me but that she always loved me so much. She said she knew I was hers.

When I was 4 weeks old, my birth mom changed her mind.

She called the adoption agency, the hospital, the social worker and even the police to try and get me back.

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Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka — Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

By AstridBeeMom Johnny with his daughter, Ja’Meka, at the hosptial, when she was born. Johnny is a father to a beautiful little girl named Ja’Meka that was born on October 18, 2016 in Georgia. Ja’Meka’s mom, while heavily medicated (having had a tubal ligation the previous day) and under duress, on October 19, 2016 was…

via Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka — Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

Posted in #NAAM2016, Adoption, Adoption coercion, Adoption Corruption, Adoption duress, Adoption Education, Adoption fraud, Aparents, Family Preservation, Relinquishment | 2 Comments

Victoria: A Call To Action for the SOS Network

I’d like to tell you a story. A story about resilience, courage, love, redemption and faith. A story a little bit shocking, a lot sad, a little sensational, but filled with a lot of hope.&nbs…

Source: Victoria: A Call To Action for the SOS Network

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The Adoptionland Defensive

I probably shouldn’t blog when there’s a fire lit underneath me, but I can’t contain my thoughts. Firstly, I want to say to those who have shared my blog about newborn adoption no…

Source: The Adoptionland Defensive

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Family preservation, and exposing adoption corruption a natural progression

Many things have been happening over the last couple years.

We purchased a brand new home, we got married (yes H2 and I are still together), and we had W’s sibling.  A little girl.

The help I’ve been giving to pregnant moms in crisis has really gained an incredible amount of support from adult adoptees, mothers of adoption loss as well as ‘some’ adoptive parents.

I, along with the help of some very motivated people, have worked to become a part of a 40 year old non-profit organization called Concerned United Birthparents, and with their help came up with the name Saving Our Sisters.  The name references the saving that we wish someone would’ve done for us, and our sisters in crisis pregnancies.

We have all come together to document the situations, spread the word when a mom is in need, and put themselves out there by meeting/mentoring the moms both before and after their children arrive and in some cases provide the moms with references to attorneys when necessary, provide a few bucks to pay a bill while they are on maternity leave and of course baby supplies that they didn’t think they needed, because they had resigned themselves to giving up on themselves, and their child.

It’s been an incredible couple of years.  Bittersweet actually.  Healing to grow this SOS family with so many mothers and their children who have stayed in touch over the years even after they have overcome their temporary situations and the crisis has passed. Heartbreaking because none of this will bring back my son (or allow us a relationship with him), and I have no idea if it will make any difference to him about all this that I am doing in his name.

The next step is finally getting proof of what so many of us mothers of adoption loss experienced.  Of what we were and are still today (no matter how many years after losing our children) told what never happens, that there are laws to stop any kind of coercion from taking place when a mother is in crisis and looking at her ‘options’.  That our stories are not ‘believable’.

Well, it finally has happened.  The 1st indisputable proof of adoption coercion.  The videos are so triggering.  I had to get up and walk away from my computer after listening to the 1st one.  It’s a story of a mother who was coerced by her boyfriend and his mother into the adoption, who had an unnecessary scheduled c-section for her 1st experience of giving birth, the natural delivery of her child taken from her because it was convenient for the PAPs who were flying across the country to purchase her baby.  The 1st video was an agonizing 23 minutes of this mother begging for her child back, begging for copies of the papers she signed, and being told she never received a very important one (waiving her revocation period) and telling the ‘adoption social worker’ that she never got to hold her daughter like she wanted while she broke out in sobs.  That she never wanted the prospective adoptive parents at the hospital and then being dismissed because that not what the ‘adoption social worker’ heard her say.

The natural progression of things……..and we will keep on documenting and proving that adoption has not changed….the industry has just perfected it’s ‘craft’ of separating mothers and their infants with incredibly cold and heartless and unethical tactics.

This saved family and baby have quite a story to tell…….and the experiences I have just keep on proving to me just how corrupt the adoption industry is.

I say this over and over and over……I just can’t make this stuff up.


Posted in Adoption, Adoption coercion, Adoption Corruption, Adoption duress, Adoption Education, Adoption fraud, Family Preservation, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Abortion Vs. Adoption

*Disclaimer – This post will not argue whether abortion should be legal. This post has nothing to do with that. Instead, this post will assert the ludicrosity that adoption is an alternative …

Source: Abortion Vs. Adoption

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