How Does It Feel To Be Adopted? – Shane Blackwell

The worry I have for my son is so great. It wakes and/or keeps me up most nights. None of these truths this man writes about are ever mentioned to mothers considering adoption, and therefore, without full disclosure, infant adoption is NOT a choice.

Why are the practices of adoption agencies, attorneys & other professionals (deception, lies and lying by ommission) accepted? Because most natural mothers and families do not tell their stories, or are not telling them in the correct forum. Sadly, many are dismissed due to the emotions that learning these truths too late cause. They come off as angry and the typical ‘bitter’ term is attached to them.

Adoption is sold to natural mothers as ‘better’ when it is just different.
Adoption is sold to natural mothers as giving your child more, when all their child wants and needs is their natural mothers.
Adoption is sold to natural mothers as creating a family, while it destroys her and her family.

None of the above sales pitches carry a guarantee. In fact, they are complete fabrications, and there is no recourse, there is no arbitration, no mediation. She is forced to live through it, pretending everything is OK.

Our voices are getting louder and are joining together with our lost to unnecessary adoption children’s voices.

I cannot fix what happened to me and my son and my family. I have no control over that. I can inform others of these things, and give the other natural mothers and adoptees the platform to speak their truths in order to prevent more people suffering like they have by connecting them with mothers considering giving away their infant to strangers. What a positive way to promote healing, by validation and giving us all the ability to prevent unnecessary adoption trauma.

Society needs to listen to the natural families, including their lost children to understand the aftermath of destoying one family to create another. The mothers considering adoption are, and they so very happy they did not lose their babies.

This year the number of prevented unnecessary adoptions has exploded with the organization Saving Our Sisters. Helping over 30 mothers this year alone to keep and successfully parent their children is my way of showing my son I that I did not choose this. I did not know, but I did learn, and I am helping others to avoid the unnecessary suffering in a positive way.

Haven’t we all had enough suffering?

One bad adoption experience, is one too many.

I miss my son, and I need him to know I never wanted to lose him, and I was deceived. I trusted the wrong people, and for that I am sorry.

We love and miss you W.
We are still waiting for you.

Love,
Mom

Source: How Does It Feel To Be Adopted? – Shane Blackwell

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About Wsbirthmom

I was a single mom to my elementary aged daughter and in 2011 I became a mother of unnecessary infant adoption loss. No matter how trapped, hopeless, frustrated and overwhelmed I felt before placing my son, all those feelings combined are no comparison to the grief and the loss of him we have felt post-placement. And no one, and nothing could have prepared me for it. I have been forever changed. The old me is gone, dead really, and so is the old life - something no one ever mentioned would happen. This will affect many generations to come, this and so many more adoption truths were never mentioned to me. So many things that could have been disclosed to me that would have allowed me to make a 'fully informed' decision, were kept from me by the agency - Gladney. The things I've learned about the billion dollar adoption industry since losing my son, have opened my eyes to the ever so clever persuasive coercive tactics used by many adoption agencies and attorneys, which I have experienced first hand and didn't even know it was happening, until it was too late. If you need a password for a protected post, please email me at wsbirthmom at g mail dot com. I've been personally cyber stalked and attacked by women who have adopted who I have never met, in an attempt to ruin my children's chance of knowing each other, and they've succeeded along with many other factors. Let's just say, it's been quite a 'ride' - but the ride has taken a hard left turn. I will keep telling my and other natural mothers & sharing adult adoptee's truths of their adoption experiences until the laws are changed and made 'fair' to natural families or until the day I take my last breath here on this earth. I started reaching out to pregnant mothers in crisis who were looking for adoption information. I began helping mothers see that their situations are so temporary and adoption, is a permanent solution - and usually always unnecessary. I've started a grass roots organization called Saving Our Sisters. It is comprised of adopted persons, mothers of adoption loss and even adoptive parents who believe that family preservation should always be the first focus, and that separation by adoption should always be a last last resort. We are PRO #familypreservation, PRO mother and child. If you would like to find us on Facebook, here is the address: https://www.facebook.com/adoptionSOS/
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